Riders on the Storm

Gently pass on by, flying high, take me on your flight

An eagle knows when a storm is approaching long before it breaks.

While all the other birds hide in the leaves and branches of the trees, the eagle will fly to some high spot and wait for the winds to come.

When the severe weather hits, the eagle sets its wings so it can be picked up by the wind and be lifted above the storm. While the storm rages below, the eagle is soaring above it.

It utilizes the disruption to lift it higher.

All these different readings come my way lately, making me excited for the many choices I get to make in my life. Like having a baby one day. That thought led me to realize that I have never been able to narrow down baby names that I like, a couple for each gender. And since I like making lists, here's what I came up with so far:

• Ella

• Betty

• Ana

• Rita

• Nina

--------------------------------------------------------------

• Ethan

• Liam

• Roman

Done. 

And done. 

And no, I'm not planning on having a baby anytime soon. I just like jotting down what I 

like.

Cheers

butterfinger

My brother is an innocent little fellow

Perpetually smelling of butter biscuits. 

His dirty, sticky fingers after a day of mischief melt my heart. 

Such love I've never felt before. 

I'm here for you baby.

hot and bothered

A mighty hot day it is today. I've been running around since 6 am, had an appointment with a psychiatrist at Cook County Hospital (always a pleasure going there) waited 5 hours to talk for 10 minutes. Swell. That's what you get if you don't have health insurance kids...if you're poor enough you can apply for CareLink which is essentially government insurance, but you have to prove your poorness like never before. Bureaucracy, i love you.

I am now feeling cool. Cooling down with my new concoction: I brew a combination of loose teas together: chamomile, licorice, peppermint. Be generous with chamomile, as it has very delicate flavor. Steep it for 6-7 minutes. Add a teaspoon of ginger crystals, 1 teaspoon cane sugar, squeeze some fresh lemon into the mixture, leave to cool down a bit. Then stick it in the fridge. Come home on a day like this, lock the door, kick off your shoes, pour yourself 3/4 glass of the tea and top off with cool filtered water, some ice cubes….Mmmm

Not only will you feel chilled out as the chamomile soothes your senses, mint revitalizes, and all three teas are helpful with digestion. The ginger adds a little kick to it, tickles your taste buds. 

thirsty

Here's to:

* cultivating discipline within yourself

* doing the right thing even though you don't feel like it

* learning patience

* assertiveness with loved ones

* TEA

Pink cloud? Maybe?

To be on a pink cloud is to be in a blissful state, especially in early recovery. I had the pleasure  of experiencing it 4 or 5 months into my sobriety prior to my latest relapse.

It was absolutely paralyzing - I found myself sitting in a 12 step meeting, seeing everyone so very clearly, like my vision was sharpened by 50%. I had the ability to articulate perfectly my state of mind without being overbearing (I always try to make sure I add something that can be a reflection for others), I felt this radiance around me, like I'm gliding on air. Very fluffy, innocent, smiling. I didn't feel anything too intensely, like needs or desires. I felt perfectly content and at one with everything.

I'm finally making meetings every day, go to my outpatient treatment at Haymarket every day, Mon thru Fri, so I'm glad I'm active. And I feel so comfortable right now, how marvelous!

Nite Nite!

Finally watched "Marie Antoinette", what a beautiful movie!

30 days sober today

I'm still here

I'd like to think that GOD (Good Orderly Direction) has something special in store for me, but the reality is I'm just one person, and my responsibility is to live life joyfully. My responsibility is that of service. I have a lot to give back.

Mom visited for a little bit, along with my 5 -year old brother who I just wanna eat, he's such a luscious little person. I've never before had the occasion to actually interact with him, to talk to him, and for him to respond to me, since the last time I saw him was 3 years earlier. His brutal honesty is very refreshing in a world of diplomacy and manipulations. Most importantly though, I've developed feelings (I wanted to say 'maternal' but i stopped myself) that I've never had before. Putting someone's wellbeing before my own without any expectation.. It feels so natural, to protect the young one. So primal.

Love. Family. Lineage.

feel the freshness?