Riders on the Storm

Gently pass on by, flying high, take me on your flight

An eagle knows when a storm is approaching long before it breaks.

While all the other birds hide in the leaves and branches of the trees, the eagle will fly to some high spot and wait for the winds to come.

When the severe weather hits, the eagle sets its wings so it can be picked up by the wind and be lifted above the storm. While the storm rages below, the eagle is soaring above it.

It utilizes the disruption to lift it higher.

All these different readings come my way lately, making me excited for the many choices I get to make in my life. Like having a baby one day. That thought led me to realize that I have never been able to narrow down baby names that I like, a couple for each gender. And since I like making lists, here's what I came up with so far:

• Ella

• Betty

• Ana

• Rita

• Nina

--------------------------------------------------------------

• Ethan

• Liam

• Roman

Done. 

And done. 

And no, I'm not planning on having a baby anytime soon. I just like jotting down what I 

like.

Cheers

butterfinger

My brother is an innocent little fellow

Perpetually smelling of butter biscuits. 

His dirty, sticky fingers after a day of mischief melt my heart. 

Such love I've never felt before. 

I'm here for you baby.

hot and bothered

A mighty hot day it is today. I've been running around since 6 am, had an appointment with a psychiatrist at Cook County Hospital (always a pleasure going there) waited 5 hours to talk for 10 minutes. Swell. That's what you get if you don't have health insurance kids...if you're poor enough you can apply for CareLink which is essentially government insurance, but you have to prove your poorness like never before. Bureaucracy, i love you.

I am now feeling cool. Cooling down with my new concoction: I brew a combination of loose teas together: chamomile, licorice, peppermint. Be generous with chamomile, as it has very delicate flavor. Steep it for 6-7 minutes. Add a teaspoon of ginger crystals, 1 teaspoon cane sugar, squeeze some fresh lemon into the mixture, leave to cool down a bit. Then stick it in the fridge. Come home on a day like this, lock the door, kick off your shoes, pour yourself 3/4 glass of the tea and top off with cool filtered water, some ice cubes….Mmmm

Not only will you feel chilled out as the chamomile soothes your senses, mint revitalizes, and all three teas are helpful with digestion. The ginger adds a little kick to it, tickles your taste buds. 

thirsty

Here's to:

* cultivating discipline within yourself

* doing the right thing even though you don't feel like it

* learning patience

* assertiveness with loved ones

* TEA

Pink cloud? Maybe?

To be on a pink cloud is to be in a blissful state, especially in early recovery. I had the pleasure  of experiencing it 4 or 5 months into my sobriety prior to my latest relapse.

It was absolutely paralyzing - I found myself sitting in a 12 step meeting, seeing everyone so very clearly, like my vision was sharpened by 50%. I had the ability to articulate perfectly my state of mind without being overbearing (I always try to make sure I add something that can be a reflection for others), I felt this radiance around me, like I'm gliding on air. Very fluffy, innocent, smiling. I didn't feel anything too intensely, like needs or desires. I felt perfectly content and at one with everything.

I'm finally making meetings every day, go to my outpatient treatment at Haymarket every day, Mon thru Fri, so I'm glad I'm active. And I feel so comfortable right now, how marvelous!

Nite Nite!

Finally watched "Marie Antoinette", what a beautiful movie!

30 days sober today

I'm still here

I'd like to think that GOD (Good Orderly Direction) has something special in store for me, but the reality is I'm just one person, and my responsibility is to live life joyfully. My responsibility is that of service. I have a lot to give back.

Mom visited for a little bit, along with my 5 -year old brother who I just wanna eat, he's such a luscious little person. I've never before had the occasion to actually interact with him, to talk to him, and for him to respond to me, since the last time I saw him was 3 years earlier. His brutal honesty is very refreshing in a world of diplomacy and manipulations. Most importantly though, I've developed feelings (I wanted to say 'maternal' but i stopped myself) that I've never had before. Putting someone's wellbeing before my own without any expectation.. It feels so natural, to protect the young one. So primal.

Love. Family. Lineage.

feel the freshness?

a New Day - Day 2 of sobriety

Good Morning all
I am in my 2nd day of sobriety today. I am fresh, I am ready to do things right.
I am ready to forgive myself. I know I need help from others, I can't do it by myself.


AA Meditation for the Day

It is a glorious way - the upward way. There are wonderful discoveries in the realm of the spirit. There are tender intimacies in the quiet times of communion with God. There is an amazing, almost incomprehensible understanding of the other person. On the upward way, you can have all the strength you need from that Higher Power. You cannot make too many demands on Him for strength. He gives you all the power you need, as long as you are moving along the upward way.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may see the beautiful horizons ahead on the upward way. I pray that I may keep going forward to the more abundant life.


I am an alcoholic and an addict. I love to gamble only too much. I need to face the fact that I might be a good girl when I try but I have an addictive personality, so monitoring my lifestyle choices is a must. Peace

what is sexy

looking at wedding dresses

Bear and I are being treated to a mini vacation this weekend - Saugatuck, MI.
We will stay in an adorable bed and breakfast…I'm really looking forward
to it!

This girl is just chilling

keep an active mind AND body. Beauty is
feeling comfortable in one's own skin.

starting an anti inflammatory lifestyle

20 instructions for life by the Dalai Lama

1.Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.

3. Follow the three R’s:

-  Respect for self,

-  Respect for others and

-  Responsibility for all your actions.

4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great relationship.

7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

8. Spend some time alone every day.

9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.

10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and

think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.

12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.

13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.

14. Share your knowledge. It is a way to achieve immortality.

15. Be gentle with the earth.

16. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.

17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.

18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

19. If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.

20. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.

What would Joan Holloway do?

Mad Men season 5 premiere tonight, after a hefty year and a half wait…
Two hour 'retro cocktail party' with my man, sipping on a chilled blood orange pellegrino.
It sounds way fancier than it is in reality. But we like to have fun.
I actually created a voluptuous Sim yesterday - Rita Holloway, a fun loving red head.
Sporting red nails, I am ready for action.

Other than my obsession with retro behaviors, I feel slightly out of balance.
I let stress get to me, I feel my intestines clenching, I can't seem to relax.
I will have to start doing yoga, or something soon. And meditate. And maybe finally do that silent retreat in Ann Arbor, Michigan.
This is the time when I notice I'm not as flexible as I used to be, and I'd like to be back at that level. It won't happen magically on its own.
I have to start treating my body like a temple, not like a bunker.
I feel worn out, but now that it's been acknowledged, i can finally move in the right direction, up.
Cheers.

Really want a word tattoo on the back of my left arm. Subtle, sexy.

need a break

Spring is here, it seems

On a balmy Monday evening,

I finish my work for the day

The Art of Joyful Living*1

People look for happiness outside of themselves, not knowing how to find it from within. They attempt to find happiness in their lives by changing their environment such as seeking new relationships, making career changes, trying new hobbies, moving to another city, or reading self-help books, among other things. But because human mind changes and conditions change, happiness is fleeting.

True happiness exists when people shed the limits of being trapped in their past and always live in the present. Find unconditional happiness from within and live as the eternal never-changing mind of the true world.

The purpose of life is to attain a state of freedom from all misery and pain. That state is not given to you by God (as you understand him) - it's a human creation and attainment.

You should develop some understanding of life. You usually think about others and analyze what others are doing, just like a drunken person. You criticize others and waste your time and energy analyzing each other's faults, but you don't observe within yourself. 

You are intoxicated and hypnotized by the suggestions of others. The day you learn to see yourself independently, you'll be free from that hypnosis and then you will follow the path of Self-Realization. This path toward Self-Realization starts with work: do your duties. If I do not do my duty well, then my conscience will create an inner conflict and I will torment myself.

First, understand your duties and how to perform them skillfully. Decide every morning that no matter what happens, you will not let anything emotionally disturb you and that you will deal with the things that come. If you resolve to do this, you'll find that a great change takes place in your life. 

Love really means giving - giving without any condition, constantly giving selflessly. Whenever you are truly selfless in life, then you'll enjoy life.Your love should go beyond  the boundaries of culture, religion, and country, and should include the entire universe.

When you begin to work with your emotions should be systematic. For example, there is some situation outside of yourself, and when you react to it, that makes you emotional. You become emotional because you have not yet correctly arranged or understood your relationships with the external world. When you are strong, nothing external will disturb you. When something disturbs you, you should know that is because you are weak, no matter what the cause is.

Your inner world is larger and more powerful than the world you see around you: there is something great inside of you. Someone is witnessing your actions, speech and mind, and that observer is actually you, the finest part of your Self. The day that you go to that level, you will no longer condemn yourself. Go there and find that Self within. Don't continue to remain lost outside yourself and ignorant of your true and inherent nature.

id like to look like that on Monday mornings

watchin Godfather

The week's going by quick, work feels satisfying while at the same time challenging me.
I feel more in touch with everything.
poof!  poof!

comfy and cozy is what feels good

fluffy hair

love this!

primal news

Bear and I are just regular animals, we know how to make each other happy. 

I don't believe we're conventional, but I don't think we try to be different. 

I like to observe him from afar, my powerful man. 

Forever doesn't seem realistic, but forever is what I want for our relationship to last. And to never lose our freshness. When I try to put it into words, it doesn't do its justice. So instead let me just say: I'm excited for both of us to create our own little world. A positive one.

:::this is what kind of mood I'm in lately:

simplify, simple, light hearted 

these days I choose to bundle up. I don't want to compromise my sense of style though

apteka

home is wherever I'm with you  

love my new apothecary job!

i enjoy being busy, especially during winter

…you may come in

what's on the horizon? whatever will be, will be

the keyword is **cozy**

Looking perfectly cozy on a chilly winter morning

a fluffy yet fashionable buffer

I love the feeling of coming home, not many feelings can top that

having a warm body to cuddle up with is oh so sweet 

Chilling

^^pepsi challenge

Bear just challenged me to try his dial soap in order to see if it'll clear up my face,
unlike the products I just ran out of, natural, organic, raw. I'm gonna give it a week. It seems like nature's performing an everlasting purging process ha ha…this has to be talked about.
 I just want a fresh face, it is so crucial for women, i think. To have a dewy, rosy, porcelain skin. Just like in Quo Vadis:

The author describes her beauty as a "remarkable". Her face was rosy, yet transparent, eyes blue as the azure of the sea, the mouth fresh. She was a comelygirl. Her hair glistened in the sunshine. It was a slim silhouette, and it emphasized the slope of her shoulders. Be compared even to Aphrodite, goddess of beauty. Ligia is a girl very young, yet extremely good.

 

A XXI Century Ligia